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All4Women - Commitment-phobic men: Will they ever change?

Commitment-phobic men: Will they ever change?

Photo ?: Zelfit - Fotolia.com


It?s no secret many men are afraid of commitment. Men of all ages simply refuse to tie the knot or even enter into a serious relationship because of their phobia of settling down. So why is this the case, and is there any hope for these men?

A man may be afraid of commitment for many reasons?

Maybe he feels he?s too young to settle down. Perhaps he fears losing the friends and social life he has when not attached. Then again, he just might not be ready to give up the life he?s grown accustomed to on his own. For whatever reason, it doesn?t look as if he?s budging on this issue anytime soon and for a relationship, that spells trouble.

The first step to figuring out if your commitment-phobic man will ever change is to get to the root of the problem?

Find out why he is afraid of commitment. Maybe he?s just as scared of things not working out as you, or he may not know how to handle a serious relationship. Issues such as those can be dealt with over time.?

If he?s willing to work on the relationship and wait and see what happens, the two of you will have a chance. On the other hand, if he is just afraid of change and not willing to give up the life he enjoys so much, it may be time to move on.

Fear vs. just not being ready

It is important to remember there can be a definite difference between an actual fear of commitment and just not being ready to commit. While the two can definitely occur at the same time, and one can definitely be because of the other, there are men who aren?t yet ready to settle down. These men aren?t necessarily afraid, they know what they want and don?t want, and right now they don?t want commitment. Other men aren?t ready because they are afraid and haven?t yet faced those fears.?

If yours falls into the first scenario, listen to him?

Don?t try to push him into something before he?s ready. If it?s meant to be, he?ll come around. If the second scenario is the case, give him time. Don?t rush it just because you?re ready. If you feel he?s worth waiting for and he?s serious about you, wait and see what happens.

So what?s the answer here?

There is no set answer. Some commitment-phobic men will change and some won?t. Those who really want a long-term relationship will eventually come around. This can also happen with age. The older he gets, the more he might want to settle down. This is why some women choose to date men who are older than them.

Make sure you both have the same definition of ?commitment?. You might be ready to settle down and get married. He might be happy with the current status of your relationship. You view marriage as the ultimate commitment and want that while he views what you now have as a commitment he will be comfortable with for an indefinite amount of time. Here, communication is the key.

Don?t wait around

If you are ready for something he does not want, then it?s time to go your separate ways. You can wait for him to change, and change he might; however, eventually the waiting will get old and you may begin to feel like you?ve been wasting time. It?s all about how long you?re willing to wait.

Remember, what you want is just as important as what he wants. What it all comes down to is the type of relationship both of you want as individuals. If you can?t make that mesh, then a commitment is most certainly not in your future. If you can, then it?s all worth the wait.

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Source: http://all4women.co.za/love-and-relationships/relationship-articles/commitment-phobic-men-will-they-ever-change.html

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